Receiving an HIV diagnosis can feel overwhelming. That’s completely normal. It’s important to remember: you’re not alone, and support is available. Your clinic should offer you emotional and practical support, including access to a specialist HIV team, counselling, and advice on how to talk to others about your status. Some clinics can offer you peer support. This is an opportunity to speak to someone who has been trained to use their experience of living with HIV to support others. Many people who are newly diagnosed find it helpful to speak to someone who has a similar experience.
If you haven’t been offered this yet, ask — it’s your right to receive care that supports your wellbeing.
Talking to your partner
Maybe the idea of telling a partner about your HIV status feels daunting. This might especially be the case if HIV isn’t something you’ve talked about before.
It’s important to note that if you’re too worried or nervous, you don’t need to tell a partner personally. Your clinic will be able to get in touch with a partner or partners directly to let them know that someone they’ve been sexually active with has tested positive for HIV, and to encourage them to get tested.
However if you do want to initiate the conversation yourself, it can also be a turning point for trust, understanding, and shared responsibility. If you’ve been sexually active with your partner without protection, it’s important to encourage them to get tested. You can help by sharing information in advance — for example:
Let them know that HIV is treatable, and with effective medication, you can live a long, healthy life. You can also reassure them with the facts: U=U means Undetectable = Untransmittable. When you are on treatment and your viral load is undetectable, you cannot pass HIV on through sex. If your partner tests negative, you can ask your HIV team about the next steps to take to protect everyone’s health.
If your partner does test positive for HIV, they will also be able to access free treatment and support from a clinic. This treatment is available to absolutely everyone, and there are numerous organisations who provide ongoing support, including from other people living with HIV.
If You Haven’t Had Sex Without Protection
If you haven’t had condomless sex with your partner, sharing your status is a personal choice. You don’t have to disclose unless you want to — but your partner may be able to offer the support you need as you adjust to the news. It can also be a good opportunity to check in with your partner about their own sexual health. When did they last test? Would they consider testing now?
This can open up a conversation about mutual care, regular testing, and using protection — all part of a healthy relationship.
Back to you
Remember, support is available. Your clinic can help you plan the conversation, and there are organisations across London offering peer support, counselling, and advice.
You’ve taken an important step by getting tested. Now, take the next one — with support, honesty, and care.
